just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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