i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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