youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
