I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
