I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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