wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
