Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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