soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
