We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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