It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
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I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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