i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
