Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
