who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
