and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
