At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
