Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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