I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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