I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize