Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
