I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
