a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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