we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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