Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just pee around me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
