How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
