I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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