i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize