I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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