I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Only a mothe r could love this liver
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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