You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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