i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You are the jesus of drinking
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
