she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
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Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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