No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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