i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
