im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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