Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
