But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
