Im at strip club and am horny
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she woke up with a sticky ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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