I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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