At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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