We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
