I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
