420 ftw
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
