Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think people are normalizing furries
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize