Jerry, you need to find god
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize