Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
