Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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