Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
