I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
