How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
