I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
