I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
