but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
