What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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