The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't put those talents on a resume
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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