sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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