you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
