whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think my vagina is haunted
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
