the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize