If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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